i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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