Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
