I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
