My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Randomize
