you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
