Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
