Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
