Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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