so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
