I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
