i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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