So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
