We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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