He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
