I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
