Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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