you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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