I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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