So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
