he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
