i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am one with the molecules
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
