one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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