cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
