My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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