great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
