so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
