I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
