you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
