Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
