I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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