dude i'm inner monologue high
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
