I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
