when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Dicks are not precious.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
