I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
