Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
