I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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