the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
