Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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