I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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