What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
