i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
