every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
