YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
