"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
