We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
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I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
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We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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