You can't motorboat a personality
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
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We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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