i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
