First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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