Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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