Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
