Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
