Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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