I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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