Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
