Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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