what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
