He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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