for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
