Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
