my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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