My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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